WOODHANDS

M—If you could make some music, or collaborate with one person, musically, who would it be?

D—Apache Indian.

P—Apache Indian, yeah, I was just going to say the same thing.  We’ve had this dream, and we’ve had preliminary…

D—…discussions.

P—Discussions.

D—Negotiations.

P—We kind of dropped the ball on it actually.  We were on our way to collaborating with Apache Indian.

D—It’s just paused.

P—But we need to reopen that negotiation.

M—Maybe he will read this interview.

P—Yeah, Apache, if you’re reading this, what we want to put out there to Apache Indian is that we are still interested. Yeah, he said he would be down doing something with us, and I think it freaked us out because we thought we needed to create the greatest track EVER for Apache, and not just anything. It has to be something specifically tailored

D—It’s got to be something for Apache.

P—Nothing that we’ve done so far feels like it’s the track for Apache, so we’re still working on it.  We had a candidate, but it just didn’t do it.  He’s a childhood hero for me.  I want to send him a track, and just blow his mind.  And I want it to be, like, the Apache Indian comeback track, you know?  That’s what I desperately want.

D—He might also desperately want that… He’s probably not desperate, though.

P—Yeah, probably not as desperately as we want it. [laughs]

M—Here is something random. Do you believe in unicorns and other mystical beasts?

P— I believe in their capacity to spread goodwill.

M—Ok, but do you think they are just an appropriation conceptually of a horse with the addition of a horn, or a magical creature in its own right?

P—Here’s what I would say to that: I would say that if a horse was born with some kind of horn mutation, then he would not really be a unicorn.

D—Yeah, that’s not a unicorn.

P—Because a unicorn is a magical creature.

D—It’s noble.  It draws its strength from its horn. There’s a certain power that is unique to it. It’s like, is a wizard just a man with a big hat?  No, no. It’s not.  He is a fucking wizard.

M—Okay. What are you guys listening to right now?

D—I’ve actually been listening to a lot of  Townes Van Zandt.

M—No way, he’s my favorite!

P—I think the last two records I listened to were the Arkells record, and The Antlers.  They’re good.

M—Ok, almost done here, just a few quick-fire questions left…  Just answer these as it comes to you individually… Jacques Cousteau or Pierre Trudeau?

P—Pierre Trudeau.

D—Cousteau.

M—Serge Gainsbourg or William Shatner? (For musical reasons, not actor reasons.)

D—I don’t think you can qualify it like that.  You see this guy’s shirt? (pointing to Paul’s Star Trek T-shirt)

P—I think this has already been answered for me. Definitely. William Shatner.

D—Gainsbourg.

M—Police woman or female exterminator? [Pause, laughs]

D—Police woman.

P—Yeah, I’ll go police woman as well.

M—Water skiing or houseboating?

D—Water skiing.

P—I thought I was getting to answer first.

M—Yeah, he’s supposed to go first.

D—But you’re not answering, you’re, like, you pause…

P—I’m actually thinking about the questions.

M—He’s putting thought into it, Dan.

D—So am I.

P—I’m allowed to think about it. [laughs] Water skiing or houseboating? Water skiing.

M—Dan?

D—Waterskiing.

M—Okay, cool. Wild West or Space Craft?

P—If I have to choose… I love space westerns.

D—What about Westworld.

P— Westworld is a great example.

D—I’m going with Westworld.  We’re both going with Westworld.

M—Okay, Obama or Bill Cosby?

P—[laughs] I would say Bill Cosby thirty years ago, but Obama now.

D—Obama.

M—Ice cream truck or cab?

P—Ice cream truck.

D—I love cabs.

M—Berlin or Paris?

P—Berlin.

D—Berlin.

M—Amazing!  Ok, that’s it.  Thank you guys so much.  Thank you for being a part of  The Lab Magazine.  I’m stoked to watch your show right now. Good Luck.

D/P—Thanks.

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